Hu Man

"Emotions are great servants, but terrible masters."

That adage hit me hard—especially as a man—because it’s so true.

Emotions drive so much of how we move through life. They're often the reason behind our reactions, decisions, and how we relate to the world.

God gave us the ability to feel—not to be ruled by our emotions, but to discern them. To be mindful of what’s happening within us so we can respond intentionally to what’s around us.

Our ability to feel and process emotions is part of what makes us human.

Yet even though we are all human, men and women are expected to experience and express emotions very differently.

According to research, men feel emotions just as deeply as women. The difference is, we were taught to suppress them.

When society labels women as “vulnerable,” it becomes acceptable for them to cry, to feel afraid, to be soft. But men? We’re supposed to be strong. Stoic. In control.

From an early age, many of us heard things like:

“Stop crying.”

“Be a man.”

“Toughen up.”

And just like that, we began to associate emotions with weakness—and weakness with shame.

The truth is, you can’t be a fully functioning human if you disconnect from what’s inside you.

The pressure to "man up" is exhausting.

It creates an internal war that most of us were never taught how to fight—let alone win.

We must learn to master our emotions, not be ruled by them. Because if we don’t win the battles inside, they eventually show up outside—as outbursts, addictions, violence, or silence.

Here’s a quick story:

There was a man seen as the embodiment of strength—muscular, respected, tough, and emotionally impenetrable. He never cried. Never showed pain. Everyone called him a "real man."

But he died by suicide before the age of 40.

Too many of us are trapped in invisible prisons.

It’s time to break the generational curses placed on us.

We are human. And no matter how “strong” we seem, suppressed emotions don’t disappear—they erupt.

Too often, that eruption shows up as:

– mental illness

– drug abuse

– violent behavior

– broken relationships

– or worse, suicide

As men—especially Black men—in a world that oppresses us and boxes us in, we must redefine what masculinity looks like.

We can create new norms.

We can expand our humanity.

We can show up whole.

When you stop conforming, you open yourself to a full range of emotions, behaviors, and identities.

Society must see us as more than leaders, protectors, and providers.

And we must see ourselves as more than that, too.

Because the truth is, you shouldn’t lead anyone—not a woman, not a child, not a community—until you’ve:

• found your purpose

• loved yourself

• rewired your thinking

• and become whole

With mindfulness and emotional awareness, we can show up fully—for ourselves, our relationships, and our communities.

So I challenge men:

Embrace vulnerability. Many of us are tired of being tired. But healing is possible—with intention, perseverance, and purpose.

And as we heal:

Our vision clears.

Our bodies feel lighter.

Our minds grow sharper.

Our spirits begin to soar.

Be the man who leads with love, not fear.

The man who feels everything—but is mastered by none of it.

Cry more.

Pray.

Meditate.

Be patient with yourself.

Get more rest.

Go to therapy.

Journal your thoughts.

Read books that help you grow.

Talk about your trauma—in safe spaces.

Be huMAN. Heal.